BLASFAME

rate card · 1 Oct 2026

Here is what we charge.

Sixteen jobs. Each one is a fixed price, paid once, for something we hand back to you. Nothing renews and there is no account to open.

I can spend $

$1$24$95$210$500$1,000

$85 buys job 06, one page read top to bottom, back in 3 days.

For job 06 we need: the page address, and one line on what you sell on it.

Email the orderRead the terms first

  1. 01

    in budget

    pick one of two

    $1

    back in
    1 day
    you get
    Which of your two versions we would ship, and one sentence saying why, sent back as plain text. One pair. Send three and we answer the first two. Answers go out once a working day, in one sitting.

  2. 02

    in budget

    your home page read on a phone

    $12

    back in
    2 days
    you get
    Ten numbered notes on your home page as it actually loads on a phone, in reading order down the page, each one naming where a visitor stalls and what to do about it.

  3. 03

    in budget

    title and description for three pages

    $24

    back in
    2 days
    you get
    A title tag and a meta description for three pages, written to the length a search result actually shows, as plain text you can paste straight in.

  4. 04

    in budget

    three headlines for one page

    $40

    back in
    2 days
    you get
    Three headline and subhead pairs for one page, with the one we would ship marked and a line on what the other two are for.

  5. 05

    in budget

    title and description for ten pages

    $60

    back in
    3 days
    you get
    A title tag and a meta description for ten pages, written to length, as a spreadsheet keyed to the address so nothing gets pasted into the wrong page.

  6. 06

    your job

    one page read top to bottom

    $85

    back in
    3 days
    you get
    A written read of one page: what it asks a visitor to do, the three places it loses them, and a numbered list of changes in the order we would make them.

  7. 07

    your Google Business Profile cleaned up

    $95

    back in
    3 days
    you get
    Your profile set correctly and rewritten: primary and secondary categories, the services list, hours including holidays, the description, and a written note of the three photographs to add and what to shoot.

  8. 08

    one email written and built

    $130

    back in
    4 days
    you get
    One email written and built inside your own sending tool: subject line with two alternates, preview text, a plain text version, and links tagged so you can tell later what it did. Left in draft or scheduled, your call.

  9. 09

    three competitors read side by side

    $140

    back in
    4 days
    you get
    A written comparison of what you and three competitors lead with on promise, price and proof, across eight pages each, ending with the one position none of them is holding.

  10. 10

    where the ad money is going

    $180

    back in
    4 days
    you get
    A written read of one ad account: the campaigns spending with nothing coming back, the search terms to exclude, and what to pause in the order to pause it, with the amount beside each one.

  11. 11

    one landing page rewritten in full

    $210

    back in
    5 days
    you get
    Every line of one page rewritten, headline through the form, delivered section by section against the page that is live now, so a developer can place it without asking you anything.

  12. 12

    a search campaign ready to import

    $260

    back in
    5 days
    you get
    One search campaign as a file: ad groups, keywords with match types, a negative list, three ads per group inside the character limits, and the settings written down so you are not paying for the display network by accident. It imports without retyping.

  13. 13

    five emails written and built

    $390

    back in
    7 days
    you get
    A five email welcome sequence written and built in your own tool, timing set, trigger connected, run end to end once as a test, with the copy in a document you keep.

  14. 14

    conversion tracking checked and fixed

    $420

    back in
    7 days
    you get
    A written check of what your site records, and the fix applied: every event that fires, what is counted twice, what never fires at all, duplicates removed across platforms, and one test pass on a real submission written down so you can repeat it yourself.

  15. 15

    the next ninety days planned

    $460

    back in
    8 days
    you get
    A written plan for ninety days: what runs, in what order, what each week is supposed to produce, how the money splits, and the reason behind each choice so you can argue with it. Every piece of work in it is priced, either off this card or as an estimate of what it costs you to do in house.

  16. 16

    a full day on your account

    $500

    back in
    10 days
    you get
    One person, one working day, on whatever you point them at, logged in fifteen minute blocks, with everything written or changed sent back at the end of that day. It is not a bundle of the jobs above and there is nothing held back from it.

Above $500 there is no new price, because $500 is already the largest unit we sell: one person, one working day, on whatever you point them at.

Past that you are buying more than one thing, at the prices printed here. $1,000 is a full day at $500, a search campaign built at $260, your ad account read at $180 and the search listings for ten pages at $60. That is the whole sum with nothing left over. There is no bundle price, no discount for buying several, and no account to open.

Add the job numbers up, put them in the order you want them done, and send the list. We will write back with the week each one lands in.

The marks beside the numbers come from media kits, where an eighth page is the smallest ad on a rate card. Here they say how big the job is, and nothing else.

What sets the price

Four things, and the card is ordered by them. The ticket is job 06, an hour, taken apart.

Job 06, one page read top to bottom. $85. Here is where the hour goes.

Where the hour goes on job 06, one page read top to bottom.
0:10read the page on a phone, the way a stranger reads it, and write down where we stopped caring
0:10count what the page asks for and how many steps it takes to do it
0:10read it against what you sell, and mark every line that is about you rather than about them
0:15write the three places it loses people, worst first
0:15write the changes in the order we would make them, with the reason for each
1:00total

  1. 01

    Looking costs less than writing, and writing costs less than building. Job 02 reads your home page. Job 04 writes new headlines for it. Job 12 builds a campaign you can import. That order is most of this card.

  2. 02

    A first costs more than a repeat of itself. One email is $130. Five are $390, not $650, because after the first one the voice, the tool and the list are already settled. The reading is done once.

  3. 03

    A login costs more than a web address. Getting safely into an account you already run takes about an hour before any work starts: the invite, the second factor, finding where the tag actually lives, and reading what is running so we do not break it. That hour is inside the printed price of every job that needs it. It is why job 07 costs more than job 06 for less writing.

  4. 04

    The price is not the clock. Job 06 is an hour and job 16 is a day, and this card is not one divided by the other. Two jobs that take the same hour are not worth the same, which is why there are sixteen considered prices here and no rate.

We log every job in fifteen minute blocks and the log goes out with the work, itemised, without being asked for. You can hold it against the ticket above.

Turnaround is not working time. It is our queue and then the work. The days printed on the card are business days, Monday to Friday, CET, and they start when your payment and the material we asked for have both arrived, whichever lands last. If we are waiting on you, we say so the same day rather than letting the days run.

If a job takes us longer than we thought, the price does not move. Getting the estimate right is our problem, not yours.

If you already know what is wrong

Every job on the card, written as the question it answers.

The rate card, indexed by the question each job answers.
what you would askwhat answers it
Which of these two do I put up?01$1
Is my home page bad on a phone?02$12
My pages look wrong in Google results.03$24
What should the first line of this page say?04$40
Now do that for the rest of the site.05$60
The page reads fine to me. Why does nobody fill the form?06$85
People find us on Maps and then nothing happens.07$95
I need to send one email and I keep not sending it.08$130
Who am I actually up against, and what do they say?09$140
I am paying for ads. Where is the money going?10$180
Stop telling me what is wrong with the page and write it.11$210
Build the ads, do not describe them.12$260
They sign up and then nothing happens.13$390
I do not believe any of these numbers.14$420
What do I do first, and then what?15$460
Take a day and do the obvious things.16$500

You can buy any row without buying the row above it. The numbers are the order of the card, not levels.

What arrives, and what it arrives as

Sixteen jobs, one way of handing them over. This part does not change with the price.

who
One person does your job from start to finish, and their name is in the reply you get before any money moves. If you have a question about a sentence in the delivery, you write to that person rather than to an address, and that person answers it.
where
The work happens in your accounts, not ours. Your site editor, your ads account, your email tool, your analytics. When the job lands it is already where you need it, and there is nothing to hand over and nothing to migrate.
as what
Writing arrives as a plain text file you can paste anywhere and a document you can edit. Lists arrive as a spreadsheet. Campaign work arrives as the file the platform imports, with the import tested once before it is sent. Nothing arrives as a slide deck, and there is no portal to log into and no login to lose in a year.
inside it
Every written delivery opens with the same four headings, in the same order: what you asked for, what we read before answering, what we changed our mind about while writing it, and what we could not answer with what you gave us. The last one is the useful one, and it is never left empty to look thorough.
yours
The work is yours when the payment clears: the copy, the files, the campaign export, all of it. We keep no licence, we do not reuse your copy for anybody else, and your name and your work do not go in a portfolio or a deck.

How we count a result

Most of what gets sold as a result was going to happen anyway. Traffic climbs in December. A competitor goes quiet for a month. Somebody else's brand spending lands the same week your new page goes live. Take the number before and the number after, subtract, and you have measured the season as much as the work.

So before a job starts we write down, in one sentence, what would make it worth the money, and we send you that sentence. It names one thing, and the thing it names is something you sell: forms filled in, calls booked, carts paid for. Not impressions, not clicks, not reach. We write down what that number is on the day we start, because after the fact nobody ever agrees what the before was.

Then, where the work touches something that can be split, we leave part of it alone on purpose and tell you which part. Both run for the same window and the only figure we put our name to is the gap between them. That is easier to arrange on an ad account than on a subject line, and where it cannot be arranged honestly we write that down instead of reporting the flattering number. A rewritten subject line sent to a small list will not produce a difference anyone should trust, and we say so when you buy it rather than afterwards.

Whatever was going to happen anyway gets subtracted before we claim anything, and that subtraction only ever makes our figure smaller. Doing it in the months where it makes us look worse is the only thing that makes doing it in the other months worth anything. If the honest answer is that the job moved nothing, that is the answer you get, in the same document, in the same plain words.

You will not find a percentage, a multiple or a dollar figure anywhere on this page describing work done for somebody else. A number you cannot audit is worth nothing to you. Every number here is a price, and a price can be checked by reading it.

The terms are the biggest body text on the page

They are not folded into an accordion. The full document is on its own page and it says the same thing at more length.

  1. 01

    Every price on this card is fixed and paid once. Nothing renews, there is no minimum, and there is no account to open.

  2. 02

    The price is the price. If the job turns out bigger than it looked, that is ours to absorb. You will never get a second invoice for the same job.

  3. 03

    We ask for payment before we start. The turnaround clock starts when the payment and the material have both arrived, whichever lands last.

  4. 04

    If we miss a turnaround printed on this card for a reason that is ours, that job costs you nothing and we finish it anyway. We tell you the day we know, not afterwards.

  5. 05

    Every job includes one round of changes within fourteen days, at no cost. A change of direction is a different job at the printed price, and we say which one it is before doing it.

  6. 06

    The work is yours when the payment clears: the copy, the files, the campaign export, all of it. We keep no licence and put none of it in a portfolio.

  7. 07

    We take no percentage of your ad spend and no rebate from any platform. Your spend goes on your own card, straight to the platform, and we never hold it.

  8. 08

    Accounts, logins and files stay in your name. We ask for the smallest access a job needs, we never change a password, and you can revoke us in a minute.

  9. 09

    We do not promise a commercial result, and nobody honest can. We promise the thing printed in the card, on the day printed beside it.

  10. 10

    If we read what you sent and think the money is better spent elsewhere, or not spent at all, we say so and refund you before we start.

  11. 11

    These prices hold until the date on the next card. When they move, the card gets a new date and the old one stops being quoted.

Read the full terms

Send the order

Blasfame rate card, 1 October 2026.
Job 06, one page read top to bottom. $85, paid once.
My site:
What I need done:
Email the order

The first button opens your own email with this text already in it. Change anything before you send.

We answer the same day if it arrives before 16:00 CET, the next morning if it does not.

Or write to hello@blasfame.com with the number you can spend and we will tell you what it buys.

If the problem turns out to be your product or your price, we will say so and refund the job rather than sell you the next one.